Boy meets girl........

I always think its really interesting how the dating timeline goes.  Boy meets girl, they text, speak on the phone and then maybe meet.  Its amazing how all of that seems to be good, the meeting lasts hours as we learn more about each other, our likes and dislikes, our hopes and dreams, the way we've been broken, and then how we rose above and learned to conquer.  You go home with a smile, this could be the one, I wonder what my kids, sister, dad, dogs(yes dogs) will think.  You send a perfunctory thank you text and then......the communication just DIES.


I can't quite figure out why men, and woman for that matter, can't be honest about what they felt when meeting, or talking.  If there isn't a match there isn't, but at least let them know.  Why make them wonder, is he really busy as he says, or do I move on.  People that know me know that I cut to the chase.  There isn't a time that you wouldn't know where you stand with me.  I am terribly blunt to a fault.  Just be honest and tell them, I do:).   The truth?  There will always be someone, prettier, smarter, easier, ________, that we are attracted to.  When do we decide to accept the deal and not open any more suitcases?  What is the magic card that you finally decide, YES!  This is the one.  I will take the faults, the great, the not so great and I want to continue this.  Why hold on to A when you are more excited about B and C?  Doesn't it get confusing? 


So the question is, how long do you wait, deal with the drip, drip, drip of conversation, the evasion, the cooling shoulder?  On TV its immediate.  You don't get a rose, you pack your knives and go, Heidi Klum says auf wiederzehn  and  you get voted off the island and you know. 


Why can't it be this way in dating situations.  Why does a list from busy at work to a mild stroke(that I worked through), seem to  be the excuse?  Just be honest.  Who cares if its not just right, moving to fast(or slow), perfect, or more of a friendship, gosh, I'm interested but life was crazy today- just tell them.  They deserve it. 

Becoming mom.......and dad.......

IThis week has been an interesting one, throughout the week a recurrent theme has appeared. What does it take to become mom.....and dad? One day is your role just fulfilled and you can leave it giving your two weeks notice and walking away......

My friend had a run in with an aquaintance, paraphrased she was told she had no idea what it was like to be a mom since she had never had a child of her own.  Does that matter?  I will admit, there is something to having a biological child, feeling it kick, the heartburn, the cravings the......magic.......

One day the magic ends and reality sets in and you go through the stages of life from sharing toys, to bringing home siblings, to dealing with broken dreams and broken hearts.  A reality scattered with a few truths, some lies, and whatever lies between the two.  

 

It's a hard reality, the broken dreams and hearts thing, much of the time it's forgotten, other times it becomes an imprint on their lives and changes them, sometimes good, sometime not so good.  

So what happens to the parents adrift, that bring kids from faraway lands, and parents that unselfishly decide they can't take care of their children?  Likewise what happens to those that chose to participate in their children's lives very much like a sporting event where you don't care which team wins, lacidasical at best.  Are you still a parent if you chose not to clean up the puke, stroke the hair, and talk away the tears?  What if those tears are not from anything but heartbreak from an absent parent?  

This week we travel to Ryan's present and his future.  He competes in my favorite tournament by far, the US open.  I love it because it's in that special place Iranian kids can shake hands with an Iraqi kid, bow and put differences behind them.  The world and its problems stop

In this special space.  This space also has the Olympic team trials, what maybe Ryan's future.  

It's been a trying week.  I realize that I can't do it all alone,  I can't make an irreverent parent all of a sudden have a heart.   To realize compromise is to feel heartbreak.   I want to give my children everything I can.  I've gone without health insurance for months to make sure my child has the bare minimum to succeed.  I wouldn't change it for the world.