Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Blue, pink, and purple October

October marks three things near and dear to me.  

Pink marks the importance of mammograms and making sure you have a baseline and mammograms regularly.  The leaps and bounds we have made with breast cancer and research are great.  

Blue for our awesome Kansas City Royals.  They make me so proud and visiting the K is something I didn't do in my past.  It's a great new tradition that I can share with my boys. They have united us as a city and taught us the fundamentals of not giving up, and giving it all you've got.  

Purple for domestic violence awareness. If you feel it's wrong it is.  Don't ever let anyone tarnish the fact that you are an incredible person.  One hit, slap, or kick is one too many.   It's never ok, and it's not your fault.  However, domestic violence doesn't need to be physical.  It can be mental, verbal and emotional. Sometimes the non physical forms are more harmful. It happens without your knowledge, and rising above these feelings is a two step forward one step back process.  You are an incredible, fantastic person.  Your size and shape don't matter, your beauty outside means nothing compared to what is in your heart and inside of you.  I wished that someone could have told me these things when I was in the midst of it.  Still today I lie awake wondering if my children are safe, if I could have done different, something more to save them from what they experienced and saw. The circles under my eyes tell that tale. I used to go as far as unplug my garage door opener every night and yet I was jolted awake by nightmares.  The sooner you leave the better.  Staying for the kids is not doing them a favor.  It's nothing to be ashamed of, and staying won't fix it.  Just remember you are better than that, you are a spectacular, unique person, and if you ever need help, I'm only a phone call away.  

Friday, October 16, 2015

Why does the nice guy never win?

Have you ever noticed the attraction the bad boys?  The liars, players,  and cheaters seem to be the ones that we want, we actually crave them.  Can those that play be changed?  What makes them that way?  Were they once hurt so badly they refuse to commit again in fears of a irreparably broken heart.  Since my divorce I've fallen for a few, they are in fact a dime a dozen and can be found on any dating site.  I've fallen hard for them, listening to their lines as polished and shiny as a diamond, they are irresistible to refuse.   


We choose the Jake Ryan looks with the fast, cool car, instead of the cute quirky nerdy guy.
 

I've often wondered what life would be like if I took a chance with the one with a lopsided smile that didn't dress perfect, wasn't a gym rat,  and didn't look like he stepped out of the pages of GQ?  Is that the trick to find someone that piques your interest and then learn to love him?  Fall in love with the good, and overlook the bad?  That is loosely how arranged marriage works.  The couple has limited contact, learns to love, and work together as a couple, maybe there is some sort of reasoning to that?



I told myself that I wouldn't settle, that I would take my time this last and final go around but should my points all be steadfast rules?  Am I expecting George Clooney when he's already taken and to be honest his personality is unknown to me?  Its amazing how we judge a book by its cover without reading more than the first page.  Its a huge drawback to online dating.  We have seconds to swipe left or swipe right, quick, don't hesitate.....



Speaking of online dating, I dissect these guys profiles, I suspect I do in public as well:

Height over 5' 8"...... check
A decent body...... check
Works out..............Looks like it
No Affliction Gear.....Relief
Eats healthy...........fingers crossed
Hair washed, and it's brushed and cut recently..... check
Matching clothes socks and shoes...... check
Teeth......Check
A decent smile......check
Non Smoker/chewer.......check,check


Why is it that we allow the players to play while the nice guys strike out?  What makes us have that pull to the bad boy, instead of the boy next door?  Why the Mercedes instead of the truck? 


Hmmm, I wonder the last time he called his mom?
Wonder if he's Jewish?


I could go on but I won't you get the point.  Is striped shorts with a plaid shirt such a bad thing?