You shouldn't have to beg

I tell my boys that every day people come and go out of our lives.  People that are close disappear in times of angst and those that are distant or obscure at times shine like pennies just like treasures.  I have noticed this in the past few years.

  I recently ate breakfast with a distant though treasured friend.  She knew I needed a lift and she was there.  We briefly discussed an encounter with very close friend that disappeared recently with a hasty defriend on Facebook.  I often wonder if she knew just how much it hurt to to go to her page to post something and realized that after 25+ years of friendship she was gone.  We had lunch plans the previous week and her husband and daughter wanted to do lunch the same day.  In my mind,  my significant other and family come first,  so I graciously bowed out.  As much as I like her husband and daughter a recent illness made it not so safe for me to be around small children.  I replied I would catch up with her the following week to find the defriend scenario.  We had in that 25+ years had lots of laughter and our fair share of tears.  Her niece was recently in a serious accident and I often checked in with her for updates, a fantastic reminder of just how life shows you that your problems are minuscule compared to others struggles.  We went though weddings ,health scares, accidents,  funerals, graduations, babies, infertility, and breakups, lots of breakups, together.

Now I realize that friends come and go.  I have lost so many cherished people with my divorce, etc, but some hit closer to home than others.  I realize that we must cleanse ourselves of toxic people but that sometimes toxicity is temporary and sometimes a word of encouragement makes more sense than turning your back in them.  I also made myself a promise, I'm not going to beg for someone's friendship.  I shouldn't have to.  We are all grown ups, we can all make decisions, and yes these decisions have consequences.  Think about this the next time you consider  pressing  the defriended button, a phone call to that person may make a world of difference, and could make their day.  Always try giving a hand up, instead of a step down.  Life's too short to settle for anything less.