The last time I did the Kansas City to Austin trek I happened to be on the flight with a TKD parent that I now miss and think of every once in a while, Mr. Hankins. I remember fondly the three of us sitting at a southwest terminal bar, catching up and chatting. Amazing just a few short years later to head back and remeber that memory- if that time could be bottled up and saved as a souvenir I would do it in a heartbeat. Mr Hankins has since passed, and well........then there is all of my changes. There was nothing grandiose about that short layover, I remember nothing about the conversation, this morning I had a hard time remembering if Ryan was with us. What I I think it was, looking back to see the simplicity and innocence of life was there and we had no idea.
So much has changed, and as much as I love all my TKD parent family, I find it so difficult to relate to any of them, as does Ryan. My day to day a constant struggle. How am I going to swing getting Ryan to a middle of the day practice? Father/son workouts? A carefree life? I see these women, and these families and I hope to one day have a piece of that. A family unit and some semblance of normalcy. Don't get me wrong, it's part me. I hesitate to give out any information, I trust few and that trust is easily broken, I'm quiet, a bit more introverted and I watch myself and Ryan like a hawk.
As we head to Austin for nationals I can't wait to see how all the kids do. Cheering on the team and bringing back the gold but I cringe at the awkwardness that I predict. I can't wait to share in the happiness, see some old friends and start new beginnings.
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